Tough Choices Update

So unfortunately I am afraid Bears fate was sealed today when I called the vets office. $279 for a bottle of pills that will last him 16 days. And then if it was working we would need at least another bottle. I guess the part that upsets me the most is that they didn't think to warm me about how costly these pills could be. I know they didn't know the exact price but couldn't they have asked when they ordered them? Not everyone has $279 (x 2 or 3) to spend on an 11 year old outside dog. I also could have bought the pills online if the vet had given me the prescription for $169. But still how many bottles would we have needed if they even worked at all. We also know he is making a killing on the pills, because shipping was not $100. I'm feeling pretty shitty about the whole thing and hope I can keep it together and not end up crying like a baby all evening. Gunner has flag football practice and I sure don't want every parent there to wonder what is wrong with me. I tried to take a few more pics of Bear and Gunner last night and maybe I will get some more tonight. I am assuming Saturday will be "the day" since Gary will be home to take care of everything. I'm thinking I will make Gunner a scrap book of Bear which will hopefully help with the millions of questions I will have to face from him. I have lots of pre Gunner pictures of all of the dogs and I am sure there quite a few in the thousands of pictures I have of Gunner that Bear is in. I am trying hard to keep in perspective this is a pet, who is pretty old, and wouldn't live forever anyways. I guess the hardest thing for me to deal with is the guilt. All those times I have yelled at the dog, told him to get away and leave me alone- when all he wanted was loving! Yes- I am a soft hearted blubbering fool, just don't tell anyone. Guess tonight it is leftovers and lots of treats for Bear especially.