First Appt with the Doctor

Yesterday was my first real doctor appt. I had to be there at 4:00. I got there a few minutes early and got to wait, which was agonizing. Most people enjoy going to the doctor. I dread it. I wanted to see this peanut, I wanted to hear some good news. Well one out of two isn't bad. There is only one very active little gremlin in there. It is measuring 11 wks 6 days according to the ultrasound. (about 5 days ahead of schedule) Then there is the issue of my cervix. Once the doctor found it that is. It is always reassuring to hear the doctor say "you do have a cervix right?" While I realize that is just his sense of humor, it totally deflated any dreams of the realtively normal pregnancy I was hoping for.

My cervix is about 1/4 of the length of the average woman. He didn't give me a measurement, which I am thinking is good, just more to worry about. My cerclage date is November 25th. The doctor I saw yesterday placed the last cerclage and I am opting to have him do this one also. He doesn't seem too concerned, and also told me that it is way too soon to be worried. He won't do a cerclage till 14 weeks but is happy that I want mine as soon as I am 14 weeks. He also told me that the baby doesn't put pressure on the cervix till somewhere between 16 and 18 weeks so there is no reason to do it sooner. As he put it, "incompetent cervix" is not an issue before the 2nd trimester. He also mentioned that the biggest issue with a short cervix is infection. Which was a problem for me last time, but again, the membranes had been exposed before they did the emergency cerclage so it was a totally different ball game back then. All in all he was very positive and upbeat, I guess I just have to be the same. I have to beat my inner demon who is a real pessimistic SOB.

Gary has already put in for the time off work, and even though no one is supposed to have time off before the holiday at his work, this qualifies as FMLA and he will not get any hassel about it. So he is geeked that he will get to be off from the 25th till Dec. 1st. I am worried I will want to kill him in that amount of time. It will be a good crash course for him with Gunner. Hopefully we won't have to ever get used to me on a long term bedrest.

I also have come to the conclusion that I am not worried about making it through my whole pregnancy without bedrest any longer. I was really hoping I could do that to make things easier for everyone at work. I hate being the reason for inconvience. I didn't want Kelly( who I really like!) to be overloaded with tons of stuff or them to have to hire a temp. Right now, if I make it through this semester without bedrest (which would be the month after my cerclage) I will be pretty happy. My focus has to be on this baby, not about making things easier for everyone at work. Guess that is the one fabulous thing about belonging to the union here at Ferris. And today is officially my one year anniversary here at Ferris. That means it's official- I'd have to do something outlandishly stupid to get fired or let go. The FMLA covers me completely for this pregnancy now too!

Another good thing about my cerclage date is my best friend who is a labor and delivery nurse at the hospital we go to will be working that day. She can check in on me and be the one to keep an eye on the baby before and after! So not only will I be worried, she gets to worry too! I actually feel bad for her, knowing everything she does, seeing all the things she sees and having to deal with me going through it must stress her out. Gunner about killed her last time. She didn't let on how upset and worried she was last time until after we were out of the woods. Must be I was too messed up on the drugs to realize how bad she looked each time she came into my room. I was totally oblivious to her being upset.

Gunner was super excited about seeing the pictures of his baby! He looks them all over and tells us what is in each shot. He also pulled a couple more names out of his butt yesterday. Calvin for a boy and Pissant for a girl. He gets the Pissant from his Papa. (yup sounds just like it is spelled: Piss- ant) My dad has always had these messed up nicknames for us kids. I was his Pissant when I was little. I guess you have to know my dad to understand his terms of endearment.


I aslo spent some time at the funeral home yesterday. My Aunt Kathy died last weekend and her funeral was yesterday. While I didn't attend the funeral since it was at the same time as my doctor appointment, I did stop at the funeral home on my way to the doctor. My cousins all seem to be doing ok. What is sucky is that my Aunt just buried my oldest cousin a couple months ago. So the family has lost a sister and a mother all in a short time. Personally I was not overly emmotional since I am not close with that side of the family. But I feel bad for everyone and my heart hurts for my dad. Mom said he had a real hard time with it yesterday. She wished I could have been there, but seeing my dad cry is not something I want to do.

So that is the update. If I can figure out the scanner maybe I can scan the ultrasound pictures for everyone to see. Don't hold your breath though, I'm not very computer savy. Keep praying for this peanut! We have a long road to ahead of us.