It's My Friday!

So I have become the perpetual clock watcher again.. even though it is Thursday.. today is my Friday. I have a million things to get done before Gunner's party on Sunday too! I've got like and hour and 15 minutes before I can leave and I swear the clock has stopped moving!

This week has been pretty average, fighting with Gunner, trying to clean up the house, giving in and putting Gunner to bed and watching something on TV. Work has been pretty slow. I spent a couple days this week helping Mike at work move stuff off the service floor so the "painters" can come repaint the floor. Not fun, but at least I felt useful.

One big accomplishment is I currently have Gunner going to bed by himself. For those of you who don't know our routine, he usually won't go to bed unless I am laying on the floor next to him. This week with so many things that need to be done I have told him that he has to be a big boy and go to sleep himself so I can work on cleaning for his party. It has worked all week. I am pretty proud of the little guy. Although last night he did tell me he didn't want to be a big boy. He did go to sleep by himself though. I also have been putting him to bed at a decent time instead of letting him stay up to see Gary. The extra sleep seems to have improved his mood somewhat.

Gary's "biotch" sister screwed everyone over again. My inlaws were supposed to take her youngest two kids back to her Saturday and none of them would be around on Sunday for Gunner's party. Now suddenly Saturday won't work because she and her husband (who is just as worthless as she is) have something to do Saturday night and since Sydney is at camp they have no babysitter therefore she can't meet her mom to get her kids. So since my mother in law doesn't want to miss Gunner's party she said Sunday won't work and isn't taking them back until Monday. Which means they will be at the party. And now I know I shouldn't care, it isn't their fault that their mom is a psychoitc whore, but I don't want any of them to have anything to do with my child. The further they all stay away from Gunner the better. I mean she has sent one Christmas present and gave one birthday present (since they were staying up here for the weekend) in Gunner's whole life. Mind you that would be 3 Christmas and 2 birthdays she has missed. And yours truly always makes sure ALL of her kids had Christmas and birthday gifts. I even bought for her step kids for awhile. Anyways I am just letting everyone know how much I despise my husbands sister.

Closing in on 4

It's that emmotional time of the year for me again. 4 years ago today I was laying in the hospital hooked up to a magnesium drip. Man I had no idea what life had in store for us. It has been a wild ride, which I pray never ends. I sit and look at Gunner while he is sleeping- which is the only time he is quiet- and wonder where all the time went. I can remember the boredom and uncertainty of the hospital like it was yesterday. I can remember the pain and the fear as if it never left. I still to this day get the jitters if I go back to visit the NICU, which is something I haven't done in ages and need to do. All the memories and feelings are so vivid- but I have noticed that some of the facts are slowly slipping away. There are a few things I have to look up in my journal to know. I feel weird about that. Shouldn't I remember exactly when each milestone happened?

My little ball of sunshine has been trying our patience to no end. Yesterday I had to take him to have his ears rechecked. No infection- no fluid- no excuse as to why he is behaving so badly. Dr. Rao is going to refer us to an audiologist to check his hearing. I think that was more for my benefit than anything. Dr. Rao knows I am looking for something- something to explain some of the behavior. So we will see what happens with that. Maybe he isn't completely ignoring us- maybe he can't hear us? Wishful thinking- I will bet he is just plain old ignoring us. Although I will give him credit, after I ended up crying about how frustrated I was about his behavior to Dr. Rao and Nana, he decided to behave extraordinarily well last night. I gave him back horsey girl as a bribe to get him to go home without a fight and we ended up having a great evening. If only we could have more nights like that.

Last Saturday night after a long day of working on electric at Ben's and around the house, we took the monster to the Mecosta County Fair. He had a blast and didn't mind that the ride attendants were all missing teeth, that when Gary walked over to get a drink some old drunk was hitting on me, or that tube tops don't belong on just anyone. Luckily he was too busy having fun to blurt out anything too embarrassing. We had the annual Elephant Ear- or should I say Gary and I got a bite and Gunner had the annual Elephant Ear.

Working on last minute birthday stuff for the monster. Backyardigans this year- just ordered the cake (from Dairy Queen) gotta find the pinata the kid has been buggin me for, and shop for the food which I will probably wait until last minute to do.

Our Holiday Weekend..

This one shot of pure happiness on Gunner's face is about the only pleasure we had in what 4 days? I hate to be a pessimist but our weekend was rough. I personally had Thursday thru Sunday off and accomplished nothing besides sending Gunner to his room another 2 dozen times.

Thursday was our average lay around and be lazy day while daddy worked. We visited with Nana and the kids at her house, picked strawberries (UUGGHH!) had lunch and went to the Library. In between each of those things Gunner and I fought like cats and dogs. Nothing makes either of us happy, he is mad, he doesn't listen, I get mad, he ignores me further, I yell, he yells, it is a never ending battle. I was hoping Friday would go smoother with Daddy home to mediate. NOPE- Friday we had breakfast, then Daddy worked on getting all the junk cleaned up to take to the scrap yard. That consumed most of their day, which wasn'e exactly how I envisioned the day. We went to see the Fireworks in Big Rapids later in the evening. Gunner napped in the car so he was at least tolerable by the time they started. But as for listening- not a chance. We spent the whole evening telling him to come back and sit down, not to go so far away, etc..

Here is a shot of the boys waiting for the fireworks to begin. This is pre neon necklace which Gunner decided to use as a lasso, or a whip and whirl in the air as fast as he possibly could. The little plastic piece that would hold it in the shape of a necklace- that was a point of contention. I finally won that point and he was mad. Big surprise. Gunner fell asleep on the way home and luckily slept all night.

Saturday was the big fishing outing. I was excited about Gunner getting to go fishing. I went along to take pictures and video- I hate being trapped in a little fishing boat with a four year old. It was torture for me. I was freaking out the whole time. Yes of course he had a life jacket on, but still, if he ended up in the water, one of us would end up in there too. Then I imagined my camera going along in with all the gear and having to explain to Grandpy what happened to his fishing boat. We spent about 3 hours on the water, caught nothing, broke the trolling motor and as we were getting in the truck (also Grandpy's) to go home, broke the seat handle which reclines the seat or gives you room to get in the back. All in all a very expensive boat ride around the lake. I also got to pick more strawberries Saturday night. So this was definatley an all around blah day. If you have ever had to pick strawberries right out of the patch you will know why I detest it so much. Here are some shots of the fishing expedition!

And we ended the weekend at Lilly's Birthday party on Sunday. Unfortunately I was so busy chasing Gunner and keeping him away from the young German Shepard who was beginning her training as a police dog that I did not have time to take pictures. Corey made it back from Ohio in time, after having to rebuild the rear end of his buddies truck on the spot. Gunner was overwhelmed with all the new people, the dogs, and the beautiful home on the lake. He loved playing in the water, and good old Andy caught a couple of fish of the dock so Gunner was happy to see that and help throw them in. Thanks Andy! Too bad we wasted so much time yesterday trying to catch a fish- ten minutes at Avis's house and Gunner was in heaven!

Typical of a Ford, huh? This is how I spend my evenings.. picking up the front of Gunner's truck so he can stuff something under it to "jack it up" then get under it and fix it. Notice my watering can is what we are using this time. He blocks the rear wheels himself and then expects me to help when he can't lift the truck and get something under it. Mind you I usually am sitting there holding the truck to make sure he doesn't knock it off whatever he has it sitting on. This time I just paused to take a picture. You can't see that he actually has his dad's wrenches under there and if it had sound he would probably be saying some pretty choice words- just like the big boys (meaning daddy and corey!) Right now if you ask him what is wrong he will tell you heis waiting for a damn part. Last week it was the transfer case, and before that an oil leak. Whatever happens to be wrong with his papa's truck is also what is wrong with his. I'm glad he thinks this stuff is fun now, but hopefully down the road I can convince him to make a career out of something that isn't so hands on and labor intensive- don't get me wrong, Corey who is one of our best friends, makes a good living turning wrenches. But even Corey would want something more for Gunner. I spent so many days of my career at Bollinger's watching him sweat or freeze his butt off, smash his fingers or knuckles when something gave way, or hardly be able to move after a day of trying to beat ball joints out of the new trucks. And they don't get paid nearly what they are worth.

Gunner also tells us he is going to drive a semi and do construction when he grows up. Of course the driving comes from Daddy and the construction comes from Uncle Tim. While all these are perfectly respectable careers- I want so much more for him. I plan on getting him the best education possible and helping him reach any goal. I will admit I am hoping he reaches for something with bankers hours in an office making tons of money. I don't want to see my baby boy crab fishing in Alaska, fighting fires, flying fighter jets, or arresting the bad guys which are all careers that his dad would think are fabulously heroic things to be doing. I am being totally selfish and am hoping my son never spends 14 months in a desert fighting for our freedom, although if he told me that was what he wanted to do, how would I say no?

When I sit an look at Gunner and let myself wonder about the future the one career that does come to mind as totally fitting would be say... a demolitions expert. That is usually what the house looks like when he is through. Or maybe an excavator- he is always covered in dirt. Somehow I just don't see my wild child going off to work in a suit and tie- although that is a great look for him! I guess I can only try to keep an open mind and hope I live long enough to truly worry about his career choices. I swear this kid will be the death of me somedays- but I wouldn't trade one second of it for all the riches in the world.

Happy Freaking Wednesday...

I hate being the one in the middle. My father is upset, not at me directly, but at Ferris. I brought his truck in to our service shop the end of May to have the kids up here work on it. Not only did it take 2 tries for them to fix the rear main seal, they didn't tighten the bolts on the transfer case correctly and as a result the driveshaft has come off and busted a hole in the transfer case. We (as in Ferris) are fixing the problem for him, but are having a hard time getting a transfer case here as fast as my father would like. Mind you this repair will cost him nothing but his time, which I do understand is valuable. It is totally the fault of the students and the half assed adjunct professor who didn't check over there work, so we should have to fix it. What kills me is I know how upset he is because each day he is without his truck he is losing money, and he doesn't have to tell me these facts, I understand them well enough on my own. What I wish he would comprehend is there is no way he would clear enough money in 2 weeks to pay for the repair himself so why sweat it? Why not just go with it and enjoy doing nothing with his grandkids? So here is to hoping that the damn transfer case is ready soon and we can get his truck out of here on Friday. This has been another life lesson- my parents vehicles will not be coming up here to be worked on ever again.

And on top of that, Gunner is sick again. He says his ears hurt and he is getting his ass kicked by his allergies. Guess we are calling the doctor today! I just wish we could go longer than 3 weeks without his asthma/allergies flaring up. I do realize it is a small price to pay considering what we potentially could have been dealing with at 27 weeks.. but it is still hard to hear him cough and gag for hours on end when he should be sleeping peacefully.

So, I have been waiting for something interesting to happen to write my first blog. I guess it is about time to give up on that one. Interesting to me may not be interesting to you and negatively interesting is what seems to be happening lately. The negative isn't much fun to write about so- we will skip it!

I am even going to go out on a limb, must be because I am 30 now and so much more mature, and posting a picture of Gunner and myself instead of just one of Gunner. You can look back through all of my thousands of photos and find only a small handful that have me in them. For one I hate how awful I have let myself look, and for two, dad's just don't think to take a picture of mommy and the child.

Nothing major happening lately, except July is slowly creeping up on us. In just 37 days my baby will be 4! I can't believe how time flies. I have to get crackin on some sort of a party plan. I would really like to have it somewhere besides our house but am not sure where. I think we are doing Backyardigans this year.. Gunner also wants a pinata. That should be interesting. We are hoping Grandma and Grandpa Bruce can come out to visit. "Papa's" truck is broke again, and back at Ferris. (Don't let the kids at Ferris work on anything important!) I hate being caught in the middle. While it won't cost him money to have this repaired, he is out time,which is valuable to him. The kids aren't here to fix there screw up but the technician is supposed to do it next week.

Today is Lilly's birthday. She is one. Who is Lilly you ask? She is the daughter of one of my best friends. I worked with her dad Corey at Bollinger's and he has become pretty important in my life. It seems like just yesterday I was waiting to hear the delivery stories from him. Lilly is also the first baby since Gunner was born that I have actually wanted to hold, hug and kiss often. I think she is what made me realize that I might just possibly have room in my heart to love someone besides Gunner. Here is a picture of miss Lilly from last fall. The eyes and cheeks are pretty much the same!

The only other change really is I finally broke down and sent my horse Euchere out to be broke. Since dad's truck is down, Tiffany who is breaking Euchere had to come and pick him up. It was a big disaster. Euchere is 5 and has never been loaded in a trailer. Well, I take that back, before his mom died he took the trailer ride to MSU when his mom colicked and we had her there for surgery, but he was only 6 weeks old. So Gunner and I stop every night and feed Euchere carrots and hopefully seeing us reassures him that he hasn't been forgotten or sold, and he will be coming home someday. I also am hoping one day he and Gunner will be superstars at the fairgrounds. I know it is a long shot, but I would love to see it.